


would you rather

by ordanary



Series: Against London [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Fighting, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 06:11:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15943406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordanary/pseuds/ordanary
Summary: With their Toronto show approaching, every member of Against London is nervous for Dan’s sake. Unfortunately though, some people happen to be more on edge than others, and it really doesn’t end well for anyone.





	would you rather

**Author's Note:**

> !! READ TRUTH OR DARE FIRST !!
> 
> Hello !! This is the second part in the Against London series, so if you haven’t already then make sure you read Truth Or Dare first :) 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: phil is an angst driven lad in this part, so just beware that there’s lots of tense scenes and fighting. 
> 
> Enjoy !

“Are you tired?” Chris asked Dan, poking him in the side and watching as he squirmed away, collapsing back into the cushions around them. 

It was the afternoon after that last interview, and the four of them were all pushed shoulder to shoulder in the ‘lounge’ of the bus, which was really just an area with a very uncomfortable sofa, a coffee table stacked with magazines and coffee mugs, and a television which they were using to play Mario Kart on. 

Dan was sandwiched between Chris and Phil, their late night last night making him feel beyond exhausted and grateful they didn’t have another show until tomorrow. No matter how many coffees he drank, he couldn’t seem to stop his eyelids from wanting to drift shut. Pj had already given into the call of sleep, collapsed stiffly against the far sofa end and snoring lightly every so often. 

“Yeah, just a bit,” Dan answered before his body betrayed his statement with a loud yawn which he used his elbow to cover. 

“Maybe you should go lay down in your bunk,” Chris suggested.

Dan shook his head, the motion making his vision go blurry for a split second. “No way. Those beds are fucking uncomfortable.”

Phil sighed from beside him, shuffling down a bit before turning to Dan. “You can rest your head on my shoulder if you’d like,” he offered, much to Dan’s surprise. He considered himself to be close with everyone in the band, but never really touchy. Sure, they’d made a ritual of group hugging before a show, but when they were riding on their own time none of them really fancied losing their personal bubble –even when they were all squished so close to each other in times like now. 

“You sure?” Dan asked, resisting the urge to yawn again. 

Phil smiled softly and nodded, patting his shoulder with his right hand. “Go to sleep.”

It didn’t take any more convincing for Dan to comply, laying his head against the soft of Phil’s shoulder and letting himself be consumed by the ever-calling sleep that he too often found himself robbed of. 

—

He awoke slowly to the sound of low voices huddled around him, unmistakably those of his three other bandmates. 

At first, he didn’t know where he was, his mind still stuck in that sleepy haze. Wherever it was didn’t feel like his bunk, and it certainly didn’t feel like his own bed in his flat at home. That wouldn’t make sense anyway, they were on tour– in Canada of all places, too. 

It took awhile, but eventually he remembered Phil’s offer to rest on his oh-so welcoming shoulder, an offer that he’d gratefully accepted what must’ve been hours ago. But this wasn’t Phil’s shoulder anymore. No, he was lying vertically on the sofa now, his head resting on something that was a bit too strange feeling to be a pillow, but much too elevated to be the sofa. Someone’s lap? He wondered. Phil’s? 

“So you’re not nervous about it, then?” He heard one of the boys ask quietly, definitely Chris. 

Nervous about what? 

“Nah, it’ll be over with before we know it. I’m a bit worried it might make things awkward, but Dan and I are pretty much best friends. We all are. I don’t think one stupid little kiss is going to ruin that. I just wish I hadn’t had agreed to it on live television, y’know?” That was obviously Phil, he’d recognize that voice anywhere. It sounded like it was coming from directly above him, too, so maybe he really was in Phil’s lap. That concept made his heart race a little.

“Don’t worry,” Pj said. “Dan told me earlier that it won’t mean anything to him, so I don’t think it’ll make you two awkward.”

They’d clearly been talking about him all along, but at the sound of his own name, Dan’s ears perked up. Oh, if only they knew the whole truth. However he suddenly felt something being removed from his hair that he hadn’t even known was there, something that rather felt like a hand. Phil’s hand? Had Phil’s hand been in his hair? 

“Oh,” Phil returned, his voice sounding odd and different than the mildly concerned tone it held before. This sounded more final. “Okay.”

They continued talking on about subjects that Dan’s brain couldn’t quite grasp at completely until he eventually gave up trying and let his heavy eyelids and the murmur of familiar voices lull him back to sleep. Whatever his friends were discussing could wait until later. For now, Dan just wanted to rest. 

The second time he woke up was in the same place, though this time without the comfort of Phil’s lap under his head and his hand in Dan’s curls. Instead, his head was propped on a pillow, his body covered generously by a large blanket, one that he didn’t remember being there before. 

Creaking his eyes open, he stared unblinking at the counter across from him, his vision still foggy with sleep. Pushing the covers off his frame, Dan begrudgingly sat up. He didn’t want to wake up, but he knew they had a show today, and if they weren’t all up a few hours before soundcheck then they’d all be cranky and irritated on stage, and the last thing any of them wanted was their behaviour leading to an unhappy crowd. 

As he stood up, grabbing onto the side of the sofa to steady himself, Dan noticed the lack of noise and other people around in the bus. The blinds were still closed, which meant it must’ve still been fairly early. Dan briefly contemplated dragging himself back to his bunk and crashing there until the sun was officially up, but that would mean he’d risk waking the other boys up, and that was a big no-no. 

Dan padded lightly over to the small kitchen counter and pulled his box of Crunchy Nut down from one of the few cabinets above. It was more than half way empty, but luckily they only had roughly a week left until they reached Vancouver when they were finally flying back home to England for a few months. He could make that last bit of cereal count, even with Phil constantly picking away at it when he thought Dan wasn’t looking. 

Phil, right. He’d have to kiss him today. That’d be fun. Well, it would actually be more nerve wracking and terrifying than fun, but Dan could pretend for now. 

He ate his Crunchy Nut in silence for a few minutes by himself on the sofa, his eyes still a bit glossy and his gaze far off. He should probably have gotten coffee, but he preferred to wait until the others were up so he could force Pj to make it instead. 

Speak of the devil, Pj pushed through the black curtain separating him from the bunks a few minutes later, a clearly tired Chris trailing like a zombie behind him, Phil Lester nowhere in sight. 

“G’morning,” mumbled Pj, shuffling forward until his ass met the soft cushions of the sofa beside Dan. 

Chris, on the other hand, kept on moving until he was in the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. 

“Morning,” replied Dan, only a tad bit more perky than Pj had been. “Go make coffee, Peej. Please?”

The latter sighed heavily, rolling his eyes before closing them and leaning back against the cushions. “Give me five minutes first,” he bartered. 

“‘Kay.”

Ten minutes later when the coffee Pj had set up was done making its suspicious gurgling noises, Dan sat up again and migrated over to the counter, pouring his own mug of black coffee before putting one together for Peej. 

Just as he was finishing up at the counter, a very tense and surprisingly awake looking Phil pushed past the blackout curtains into the lounge, pushing black hair off his forehead and making his way towards Dan. 

They stood side by side for a few silent moments, Dan getting ready to turn around and sit back down as Phil shuffled through the cabinets when the aforementioned spoke. 

“Can I eat some of your cereal?” He asked tiredly, giving Dan his laziest puppy dog eyes yet. 

Dan scoffed, smiling though. He didn’t really care if Phil wanted his cereal, he just wanted to poke fun at the sleepy guitarist. “Wow, this is the first time you’ve actually asked.”

Phil’s once persuasive eyes turned icy in an instant, scowl taking Dan by surprise and eliciting one of his own. 

“Fucking– fine,” Phil grumbled before turning on his socked heel and stomping off towards the bus door where he slid on his shoes and stormed through the exit.

Both Dan and Pj flinched as the door slammed shut loudly, their eyes wide with confusion. He’d only wanted to lighten up the mood with a bit of light banter before their dreaded kiss on stage that evening, and his little sarcastic comment had done quite the opposite. Normally, Phil would get the joke– laugh, even. Dan felt a feint pang of hurt somewhere deep in his chest. 

“What’s up with him?” Chris asked from the sidelines, standing in surprised shock just like the rest of them. 

“I don’t know,” spoke both Pj and Dan in unison, Pj’s eyes focused on the cup of coffee Dan had yet to bring him while the latter’s were still glued unmoving to the shut door. 

Oh boy, he’d fucked up. Someone needed to remind him to literally never open his mouth ever again. 

—

Phil didn’t talk to Dan at all for the rest of the morning, speaking and laughing with everyone else though completely neglecting Dan’s existence all together. The other two boys had tried their best to make Phil say at least one word in acknowledgement of the bassist, but to no avail. For whatever reason, Phil was fucking pissed at Dan, and he had a feeling that maybe it wasn’t just because of his sarcastic remark at breakfast. 

Whatever he’d done, he’d managed to make Phil really pissed off, and that definitely wasn’t good when they were supposed to kiss each other at some point on stage that night. 

Thinking about having to perform tonight while they were still fighting over God knows what only made Dan feel sick. Phil was their frontman, and he had the power to say anything into his mic and have the thousands of bodies before them cheer with no end. As much as he was sure Phil wouldn’t, he feared he might abuse that power. 

Luckily, they were heading out to the venue to do soundcheck really soon, and playing bass usually helped to calm Dan’s nerves. Music was home and music was safety. As long as he was playing he’d be fine, he was sure. 

“This stage is fucking huge,” he remarked in awe as they stood backstage, flipping through the pictures of the front that their manager, Tristan, had sent to Chris’s IPhone. They were playing at the RBC Echo Beach stage in Toronto, which though small to some artists, was absolutely gigantic to Against London, a band who was primarily used to playing cramped clubs and small indoor venues. 

Chris and Pj both nodded, Phil grunting before walking back towards the wrack their stage crew had set up of his many guitars. 

It wasn’t much of a grunt, but it still counted as him acknowledging Dan’s existence, which he considered to be small progress. 

“You really need to talk to him, Dan,” spoke Pj desperately. 

Dan sighed frustratedly, gaze travelling beside them to land on Phil. “I know, but . . . I don’t think he’d listen even if I tried.”

Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, Chris gave Dan sympathetic eyes. “And you don’t even know why he’s so pissed?”

He shook his head. “It might have something to do with the kiss today, but he didn’t seem upset about it yesterday.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll get over himself soon enough. It might not even be personal.”

Pj nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he probably just did something stupid this morning and decided to take it out on you because he’s upset.”

Sighing again, Dan nodded, looking down to his boot clad feet. “Yeah, I guess.” If that was the case, though, Phil sure was going to get an ass whooping later. That wasn’t fair that he’d take out his emotions on Dan, and if he really was then Dan was going to make sure he knew that. 

Just then, Tristan walked through side stage to give them the go ahead to start soundcheck, Dan swallowing thickly as he followed his three bandmates to the main stage with hands balled at his sides. 

A member of their stage crew, a blonde woman named Alyssa, handed Dan one of his basses and helped him hookup his ear piece and attach his battery to the back of his pants while the other three received the same treatment from other crew members, before making their way onto the open stage. 

Of course with it only being soundcheck, there was no real audience, so at the very least the tenseness between them all wouldn’t be seen by any of their fans, which was a whole relief in itself. 

They started off by playing a few songs without Pj’s vocals, just to test out the instrumental balance and make sure everything sounded perfect together. 

As hard as he tried, Dan just couldn’t seem to get into the groove of things, unable to lose himself as easily as usual in the harsh sounding music and instead stumbling a few times over his own fingers, though it was mostly unnoticeable from what he could tell. He didn’t find himself as immersed in the chords and beats of each song, and mostly that was because he couldn’t stop thinking about how mad Phil was with him, and for seemingly no reason whatsoever. 

He just wanted an answer, but Phil was barely willing to look at him, let alone speak. That only brought on more fear for their later show of the night, the one where he’d have to kiss the grumpy guitarist and smile at a group of thousands like everything was okay, when clearly it wasn’t. Nothing felt okay today. Not since waking up on a lumpy couch with no one around and a clouded mind. He wished he could just travel back in time to yesterday afternoon when his head had been resting easily in Phil’s lap, the latter’s hand fixed in his hair and making him feel safe and calm. He didn’t remember much of what he’d overheard spoken between his three bandmates then, but he didn’t remember it being upsetting at all. 

Regardless, they’d obviously gone terribly wrong sometime between last night and this morning, and Dan just wanted to know how to fix it. 

He was so wrapped up in his own head, in fact, that when the bridge of their current and newest song came about he completely missed it, instead playing the tabs for the chorus which didn’t sound all too good. 

Pj had kept singing along until the guitar had abruptly dropped out of nowhere, cutting his vocals short and giving Phil a strange and confused look. Chris had stopped playing too, as well as Dan, himself, who was looking at Phil with fear in his eyes.

The guitarist was glaring right back at him, eyes attempting to burn a hole through Dan’s skull, it seemed. 

“Are you fucking serious, Dan?” He asked loudly without the mic, the lack on an audience making it rather easy to hear him. Anger was clear in his tone, and he wasn’t using his stage voice as per usual, but his yelling one. 

Dan stepped back a bit, unwillingly cowering away from the harshness of Phil’s words. “I’m sorry, I got distracted.”

“Yeah, well, you fucked up the entire song, and if you do that tonight you’re gonna fuck up the entire show,” Phil remarked angrily. 

Eyes narrowing, Dan marched forward, letting go of his bass to let it hang around his shoulder and balling his fists tightly at his sides. 

Phil had no fucking right to be saying any of this to him right now. Sure he’d made a mistake, but he didn’t need to criticize and embarrass him in front of the other guys like that. He was truly furious with the black haired guitarist that he was usually so fond of, just barely holding back from running straight at him and pushing him off the stage. He didn’t want to kiss him tonight anymore. He just wanted him to shut up and mind his own damn business. 

“Are you kidding me?” He half asked, half yelled. “The only reason I’m fucking up is because I’m too busy stressing about your temperamental ass to focus on anything else, so whose fault is this, huh?” 

If it was even possible, Phil’s eyes seemed to grow even colder. “Oh, so you’re blaming me for being bad at your own job? Real nice, real nice.”

“Excuse me?” Dan yelled, taking Phil’s question as a blow to the chest. Had he just told him he was a terrible bassist? Did he really think that lowly of him? 

He was so done, and he really just wanted soundcheck to be over so he could go back to the bus and scowl in his bunk. He didn’t want to talk to anyone or think about anything– especially Phil. What a fucking asshole. 

“Fuck off,” he spat. 

“Hey, hey!” Pj exclaimed, stepping forward between his two arguing bandmates, probably in fear that they might actually tear each other to pieces if they got too close to one another. “You two better either stop this bullshit right now or get off the fucking stage before me and Chris kill you both,” he threatened, using an awfully anger filled voice that was rare when it came to Pj Ligouri. He never got mad, never raised his voice unless he needed to. 

Phil looked Dan up and down, something in his eyes seeming sad and not matching his anger, though as soon as it was there it was disappearing again, instead being replaced by cold and callous ice. “Sorry,” he forced out between his lips, grimacing afterwards. 

Dan knew his apology held absolutely no weight to it, frowning helplessly before turning away and and walking back to his position at stage right. “Whatever,” he mumbled, just loud enough for them to hear. 

Pj kept talking about something, most likely lecturing them both about their hostile stage presence, but Dan wasn’t listening. He’d never wanted off a stage more than right now, and when soundcheck finally did end it wasn’t soon enough. If he knew one thing for sure, it was that the kiss was off, and he wasn’t even upset about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading !! Maybe reblog on tumblr (@ordanary) ?? As always, kudos and comments are super appreciated. Have a lovely day !


End file.
